Song of Songs 4:7

As a woman, it's sometimes hard for us to gain perspective on self-worth and body image. In the words of Bill Johnson, "I can't afford to have thoughts in my head about me that God doesn't have in His". I want all women to know how the Lord views them; as beautiful, spotless and pure.

So... I wrote a song about it. Inspired by two very beautiful woman. My best friend, April Cossey, and a 6 year old Khmer girl I met in Cambodia.

Beloved:

Her clothes state that of what she lacks,
but her smile tells of what she's gained.
For today she received revelation
she's never viewed herself this way.

She begins to read through her bible
flips through the pages
She ends up somewhere in the middle
It's a love story next to the book of Praise

As she reads, her eyes fill with tears
as she learns of her worth
The One who wrote it, begins to speak to her soul and she hears.

He loves her with no makeup
He tells her of her worth.
Says she's flawless
with eyes like a dove
and, He calls her His Beloved.

Her clothes state that of what she lacks
but, her smile says what she's gained
For today she received a bible,
its the first time, she's ever heard His name.

She takes my hand, walks me through her village
Waves to her brothers as they run and play
They call out mean names and
she ducks her head, eyes fill with pain

As she reads, her eyes fill with tears
as she learns of her worth
The One who wrote it, begins to speak to her soul and she hears.

He loves her with no makeup
He tells her of her worth.
Says she's flawless
with eyes like a dove
and, He calls her His Beloved.

Meet the Team!!

Erin Crain is a FIERY 32 year old from Tacoma, Washington. When I say FIERY, I actually mean pyromaniac. When she prays… its pure fire. When she speaks… it's pure fire. She is the definition of bold and fearless in every aspect. She loves the Lord with all of her heart and has been waiting patiently to join YWAM and enter the Mission. The Lord knew what He was doing when He put her on my team. Not only is Erin trained up in freedom and leading people into sovereign deliverance before the Lord, she is an incredibly talented rapper. You heard me… RAPPER. I have never heard anything like it. She is a preacher, teacher, evangelist, fearless leader.. but most importantly, a friend. Sometimes I feel silly being her "leader" since she is older and wiser than me. She also has really rad hair.

Rami Son is the most diverse woman I have ever met. When I first met her, I was thrown for a loop. Here is this incredibly beautiful little Korean girl, but then she opens her mouth and has the thickest Spanish accent while having perfect English grammar. She is from Ecuador and speaks Spanish, Korean, and English… and does them all fluently and beautifully. It is so refreshing to know we are called as a team to "go into the nations" but I feel like we are bringing all of the nations with us in this one woman. She has an amazingly tender heart before the Lord and it has been such a joy getting to know her. She is bold in her speech and not afraid to preach the Gospel to anyone around. I have had the privilege to walk with her "one-on-one" in discipleship over the past 3 months and I have seen her heart be transformed, restored and set free time and time again. I believe she is called to bring women into true restoration and will begin walking that out over the next 3 months.


RoseMary Cho (aka Rosey) is an incredibly mature 18 year old from Indiana. She has a stinking cute high voice and soft speech and my heart is at peace when I am around her. She carries such authority in innocence and purity and I believe high school girls will be brought into the Kingdom just because of her friendship with the Lord. I have seen her grow and mature radically in the past 3 months and she is such an asset to our team. Did I mention she is Korean-American?! Bringing the nations with us. The first time I prayed for Rosey, I felt the Lord say these things: "joyful" "dancer" and "seeker of truth". She is marked for joy, is carrying it into America, and will release it into all the nations.

Jamie Chang is an 18 year old ALSO from Indiana. Fun fact: she and Rosey were friends before DTS and now they are on the same Outreach Team together! I am beyond excited for this joyful woman to be going to L.A. and NYC with us. She is careless, fearless, and so teachable before the Lord. She carries a boldness like I have never seen. I am excited for our friendship to blossom, especially because we are so different. My first impression of Jamie was on a "get to know you" night the first week of school we had to give "fun facts" about ourselves. Of course, mine were the following: "My name is Kellye, I love pink and I love rhinestones". Jamie's "get to know you" fact was quite the opposite: "My name is Jamie, I hate pink I think it's obnoxious". She loves MMA fighting and tattoos and has really rad converse high tops. Although from the worlds viewpoint, we are complete opposites, I see her heart before the Lord and how incredibly gifted and anointed she is, and I cannot wait to run with her and transform hearts with her. Anytime she opens her mouth to pray or speak, it does something to my heart. I do not have language for it yet, but I see something in that tiny little girl. She is pregnant with destiny and the Lord is about to push her into greater greatness.

Nali Kim is an incredibly beautiful 20 year old from "Philly". If her style doesn't make her the stinking cutest thing you have ever seen, her accent will. She has genuinely become one of my best friends in the past 3 months and I couldn't imagine this trip without her. Best part about Nali joining YWAM and coming on Outreach: her mother tricked her into it. Yes, you heard me. She was tricked into coming. BUT, I have never seen a more teachable heart and hunger before the Lord. We have laughed together, cried together, fought for each other, and I have seen utter transformation in that woman's heart. She has a heart for the lost, and a heart for women and wants to work with those that have been trafficked. I am telling you… this woman will transform the whole world. She has truly "counted it all as loss" for the sake of knowing Jesus. Leaving her family, and friends and life back home and seek after the Lord, she has experience intimacy and relationship with Jesus in a whole new way. I had the AMAZING privilege of baptizing her in the Pacific Ocean a couple weeks ago. She has been set ablaze for the Living God, and is ready to take it to the nations!

Last but certainly not least… my BEAUTIFUL co-leader Lizzie Stein. She is the most mature, joyful, and humble 20 year old I have ever met. (Pause… I feel like I am a pageant announcer in this whole blog. I can see my girls coming on stage in fancy dresses doing a stiff and rigid wrist wave, while I hold my MC mic and read there well-written bios aloud to the audience…. unpause). I met Lizzie last year during my DTS. She was in PhotogenX and would come into the cafe every morning where I worked and would order a "quad-shot Milli Vinelli". We got to know each other a little, but it was when we came back to staff we really went deep into friendship. She is an insanely talented photographer and went to India last year for her outreach (you should look her up on Facebook and creep her work). I have had close girlfriends growing up, but Lizzie really has found a unique place in my heart. She is my accountability partner, prayer partner, crying on the shoulder partner, and "Kellye, get a grip on life" partner. I am so thankful she is leading this team with me. She has a heart for University and High schoolers to radically encounter the love of Jesus and come into the Kingdom. She is a little bundle of love and freedom and carries the manifest presence of Jesus anywhere she goes. She has truly become one of my closest friends and I know we will be bonded forever after this summer.
Shameless Lizzie plug: http://www.elizabethannephoto.blogspot.com

THERE YOU HAVE IT. My incredible team. We head out on the 29th of this month, staying in L.A. for 7 weeks, then off to N.Y.C. for 4 weeks. We believe we will see many come into the Kingdom, we will unify the Body, and bring friendship and love everywhere we go through our little family centered around the presence of Jesus. 7 very different girls…entering a very broken nation of America…. praying for absolute revival. In the words of Erin Crain: FIRE!!!

Re-entering the City of Dreams.

I remember the first time I flew into Los Angeles. I was 18 years old and on a flight for my first season of American Idol. I remember looking out the window of the plane seeing the Hollywood sign and trying not to pee my pants. It was almost too much to handle. All the buildings, the bright lights, the busyness of it all. I fell in love all over again.

Here's the thing. Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do was move to L.A. I was infatuated by the city and had never even been there. Actually, it wasn't so much the city, but what L.A. was about: Anyone who was anyone lived there, and I was set on living there too.

(Most 8 year old girls write in their diaries about best friends or stuff that happened at recess that day… I have diary entries where I am doing nothing but praying for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.}

{Majority of elementary school girls cover their notebooks with princess pictures they colored or doodles of hearts and stars…. I cut out pictures from magazines in my mom's room of celebrities and pasted them to my notebook so I would remember to pray for them daily.}

{My prayer requests in Sunday School were regularly for Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. I am sure the other kids thought it was weird that I rarely prayed for a sick relative or problems in my own family.}

{When faced with the typical childhood question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" my answer was ALWAYS a movie star or a musician. I was always confused when I heard other kids giving answers like "veterinarian", "doctor" and "police officer". Why wouldn't you want to be on a stage? Why wouldn't you want celebrity friends? I never once desired to be anything outside of the entertainment business. That's not true… I would want to be a wedding planner. On the side, of course…. and only for celebrities :)

The other day someone asked me if the only reason I felt "called" to Los Angeles was because I felt it could be an easier way to be famous but under the umbrella of being a missionary. They quickly corrected themselves and apologized, realizing it came across a little harsh. I wasn't offended at all, and it actually didn't phase me.

Being "famous" was all I ever worked for growing up. I've been on a stage since I could walk. My parents have spent more money on vocal coaches, piano lessons, dance lessons, and acting classes throughout the years than I care to admit. Graduating high school, I had no intentions of "getting a real job" or even "pursuing a degree". I was pursuing further training for the stage. That's it. All I've ever though about and dreamed of.

When the Lord encountered my heart last year, all of these intentions changed. I no longer had any desire to seek out the world. I wanted Him. Nothing but His whole heart, and His plan for my life. I assumed that would mean moving to Africa and living in a township, or in the jungles of Cambodia. I imagined He would put me as far away from the media industry and the secular world, since that is what I sought out.

The Lord is funny in that way. He sat aside a year of my life to get my heart right before Him. Taking me to Cambodia and Hawaii and really depositing His heart into mine. He radically shifted my heart and made me fall more in love with His ways.

And now, I am headed back into the city I dreamed of since I was little. I fly to Los Angeles in less than two weeks. I am co-leading a team of 5 amazing girls and believing the Lord to transform the entertainment industry, and the entire city of L.A. We will be joining with multiple different ministries and organizations there and partnering with them to share the Gospel. (My beautiful co-leader, Lizzie Stein)

After that, we are headed to NYC. We are working with a wonderful agency called Models for Christ and joining up with other YWAMers there to work Fall Fashion Week at Lincoln Center. Some of our girls will be dressing models backstage, others photographing the Red Carpet, and others getting into the shows and loving on people inside the tent. We are going to host a 24/7 Burn during the week, and pushing hard into intimacy for what the Lord is doing that week.

The reality is, He gave me the desires of my heart when I was little. He never wanted to take me away from the things I loved, but wanted me to be in them WITH a heart after Him. I can be in the world, but not of the world. I can be in the entertainment industry pursuing the heart of God, and not pursuing what the world offers.

The renewal of our mind comes from the washing of he Word. I used to wash myself with the world and the fruit of it was desiring what it had to offer. I have been renewed. Washed clean, and He is sending me back into the things I love.

The next blog post, I will introduce my team to you!!!!! Get excited to meet them!!

It begins again...

It was nearly a year ago when I hopped on a plane across the Pacific Ocean on a journey that would change my life. Next week, I get on a plane and head back to join Youth With A Mission for a second year, but this time as a staff member. Goodness gracious, my heart is overflowing with joy. As I enter into "full-time ministry". I thought I would write about my lifelong journey of missions, and how I became a "missionary".


My road with Missions:
I grew up in a church were missions was a significant ministry among the congregation. There were always opportunities to travel to foreign countries with medical teams, and I spent many Spring Breaks going on mission trips with the youth group. My mom was what I like to call a "photographic missionary". She would go with teams and document the ministry that was being walked out in those countries. My house was always decorated with black and white portraits of starving children in Nicaragua, or lines of elderly women waiting for medical attention in Honduras. I was introduced to the needs of the world at a very early age.

Fast forward to 2010:
I completed my Discipleship Training School in September 2010. I spent 3 months being trained up and discipled to ready me to be sent into the nations. From there I went into the closed nation of Cambodia. After 12 weeks, our team saw over 70 salvations, 50 some healings, a church planted in an unreached village, and a bible study grow from 3 non-believers, to 14 disciples. Oh, and the dead raised. All in a country where it is illegal to preach the Gospel. The Lord wanted to move in that nation so badly, and we just happened to be His hands and feet at the time.

After seeing the Lord work in such miraculous ways, I knew my heart would never be the same. A deep passion for the lost arose in me, and I committed my life to seeing His Kingdom come on Earth. Because, once you have tasted and seen, there "ain't" no going back. Isn't that how the verse goes? :)

And so, my next journey begins. As a staff at the University of the Nations (Youth With A Mission) I will be participating in the exact same Discipleship Training school I just completed, but this time as a member on staff. I will be walking closely with the students during their lecture phase; having one-on-one's with girls, and processing with them on how the Lord is working in their lives. During that time I will always be leading 2 hour worship sets with my school leader, Aaron Barker, in the school's prayer room. These sets USUALLY end up with jumping and dancing around, praising the Lord for His goodness!!

During all this time, I will be planning the 3 month Outreach that I will be leading starting at the end of June. I have sought the Lord, and feel very confident about leading a team to Los Angeles. I have felt called to this city since I was a little girl, and am so excited to start walking out the calling He has on my life. More updates to come on the minstries we will be working with while in that city. BUT, I am confident the Lord is going to work through my students in bringing the love of message of Jesus into L.A.

I appreciate all the prayers and encouraging words from all of my friends and family. I have never felt more at peace as to what I am supposed to do with my life :) I am so confident in what the Lord will be doing in this next season of life, and am so excited to continue sharing with you all.

The Lost Files

Found this blog post in my computer from 3 months ago in Cambodia. Whoops, forgot to upload.


Last week of Outreach

In less than a week I will begin my travels back to the States. I know it would be cliche to start the next sentence with "time has flown by" or "I cannot believe it is already over", but that is truly how I feel. I feel like I blinked and 11 weeks went by. So, get ready America. Here I come.

Looking back on the 3 months being here I decided the best way to recap was to make a "top 10 things" list. Except, I have about 30 "tops" so it might be quite long. It will include my favorite memories, favorite things, favorite people. There will probably be no rhyme or reason to it, but when do my blogs ever have rhyme or reason? So, here goes nothing...

TOP THINGS I HAVE LOVED/STILL DO LOVE ABOUT OUTREACH:
1. Getting the opportunity to preach the Gospel and then leading a corporate salvation prayer for 10 Khmer. Oh, did I mention this was the week of my 21st birthday? Epic birthday party on Earth AND in Heaven. The Khmer were so open and ready to hear about the name of Jesus, and then commit their lives to Him. I think after 11 weeks, we saw over 70 Khmer give their lives to the Lord.

2. Spending my 21st birthday in Cambodia. First off, who the heck does that? It started with banana pancakes in the morning (I knew right then it would be a good day), and then the girls on my team took me to get a manicure. There is a ministry in Battambang that rescues girls from sex trafficking and they all live in a house together. They learn the trade of cosmetology, which gives them jobs and let's them live in a safe community where they can learn about the love of Jesus. The girls were incredible and it was such a blessing to spend my birthday with them. Later in the day, they brought me red roses to my house. Tears were definitely shed. As if the day could not get better, my students at the University threw a surprise birthday party in my English class. It was so precious to see how excited they were to bless me with a cake and presents, not to mention, incredible fellowship. Now, I know this doesn't exactly follow the traditional 21st birthday celebration that occurs in America, but I have never been one to follow tradition :)

3. All of my English students. We have become such a little family, have become so open with one another, and we goof around together. Friday is going to be such a hard day saying goodbye.

4. Driving a tuk-tuk. I FINALLY got the courage up to ask if I could drive it, and let me just say my next big purchase in the states will be this fine crafted automobile.

5.Watching all of my students graduate. We had a graduation ceremony and everyone dressed up and brought their families. I couldn't be a more proud mama. They are going to go change a lost world. I believe it.


6. Teaching at the village. Yes, sometimes I would complain about the 110 degree heat, and the steel roof over my head that made it even hotter. Sometimes my gag reflex would go up because of the cuts on my kids feet that I had to bandage up, since there is no doctor or hospital. Sometimes I felt extremely uncomfortable eating the food that was offered to me at the local houses (it is disrespectful to say no). Even with all that said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the village. I love the smell of the rain there. I love the feel of the dirt road as the tuk-tuk drives us into the jungle. I love the sound my kids yelling "HELLO!! HELLO!" when we drive up. I will miss this place.

7. My classroom at the University. I changed my curriculum everyday to fit my "teaching style". Goodbye to boring note taking, and hello to Kellye singing to the class, and having my students dictate every word I sing. What? It teaches them to listen and write even better. And, I get to practice my singing. Both parties win.

8. Receiving flowers every day when class starts. My little girls will pick flowers and make headbands, bracelets, and bouquets everyday before class. My future husband needs to take note.

9. Becoming best friends with the most beautiful woman I know, Kelli Thomas. We have shared a twin size bed for the past 3 months so it was inevitable we became close. We have been through so much, clung to Jesus, and to each other. I am so blessed to have met her on this incredible journey. (cue the tears)

10. Praying for the sick!!! (NOW, know this list of top 10 is really not in order, because praying for the sick was my favorite). Kelli and I would sprint around the market and look for people in casts and wheelchairs. Sure, they had no idea what we were praying over them, but that just made it less nerve-wrecking to call upon the fire of God to fall and heal them. It's what He told us to do: "heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead". THEN, we get to testify of WHO He is, and lead people into relationship with Him.


CAMBODIA. It's been fun. I will miss you.

Sweet Revelation

Majority of this weekend, I just sat in the prayer room at IHOP (check it out: www.ihop.org) in Kansas City, soaking in His presence. All I asked for was fresh revelation on life, my ministry and even the season I am in. So, I thought I would share some of it with you:

Matthew 12:33
"Either make the tree good, and it's fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit."

I spent a week at my mom's house recently. One day, my stepdad took me to pick pears. Instead of going to a tree close to their house, or even settling for apples from the apple tree in the front yard, we drove to a different pasture to a specific tree that he knew had the best fruit.

At the time, I thought it was rather silly. A pear tree is a pear tree. We had to get in the truck and drive to a specific one? This one tree was hidden in a pasture, and how he ever found it, I have no idea.

The Lord reminded me of this, and begin to give me revelation on how my own life looked. Am I producing good fruit? Can people see the fruit I am producing? Am I attracting people by my fruit? What kind of tree am I?

How do I become like a tree that bears good fruit?

Abiding in His love.
"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me, you can do nothing." John 15:2


Positioning myself to be pruned
"Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit He takes away and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit." John 15:5

(He gave me His best when Jesus died on the cross, so I want to give Him my best on this Earth. So, I asked Him for specific, strategic ways to produce good fruit in my daily life.)

Daily Application:

1.Saturation in the Word. Going deeper in the Word than I ever have before.
2. Ministering to His heart daily. Worshipping Him simply because He is God. There is a time for Thanksgiving, and a time for adoration. I want to spend time daily adoring Him because of His nature and His character alone. (This revelation came from my wise best friend, Kaytlyn Johnson.)
3.Lifestyle of Fasting. Denying myself simple comforts in order to draw closer to Him.
4. Kingdom Values. Applying the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) to every area of my life. Hungering and thirsting for righteousness.
5. Eternal Mindset. Fixing my eyes on eternal things over things on this Earth that please me temporarily.


There is a difference in producing good fruit, and being known by the fruit you produce.

I want to be known by it.

Song Vomit

I can't stop it..
It just keeps coming...
song vomit.

Since I have been home, I have been glued to my piano. It's like when you have been away from a boyfriend or girlfriend for a long period of time, and so when you get home, all you want to do is be with that person. It's almost sickening, and your other friends get mad...

Well, that's my relationship with my piano. Gone for so long, now I won't leave her side.

The Lord has given me song after song since I have been back from Cambodia. While I was there, I didn't write, other than in my journal. Being in the nations= creative juices galore.


I will let you sample some of the tasty treats that have been an overflow from God's heart for the nations and my time in Cambodia:


(The inspiration for this one came from spending a day in a Buddhist temple. Inside, there was a gold statue of the "reclining Buddha" that was about half a football field long, and close to 60 feet tall. The sight of it was unbearable. My heart exploded and I was undone. I became sick with the idea that these people were giving their lives to a false idol. My eyes filled with tears and I couldn't talk to anyone around me. I just kept whispering over and over again "Jesus you are the only one for me... you are the only one".

We are in relationship with the Living God. He is the only one who conquered death)



You're the One

I hold my breathe as I walk past them,
Casting down their crowns of Gold.

I look past the sea of glass,
it's better than my eye can behold.

With their wings they fly on past me,
point to the King of Kings.

You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
For me.

No rainstorm could have prepared me for,
the way your thunder feels.

No lightshow could ever let my eye know
The way your lightning burns.

You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
For me.

There He sits on His perfect throne,
clothed in majesty.

And then they sing out their perfect love song,
I join them in a 5 part harmony.

And we sing...

"Holy, is the Lord God Almighty
Holy, is the Lord God Almighty."

And then I see Him, the perfect Lamb,
slain for my sins.

And then I see Him, the perfect Lamb,
slain for my sins.

You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
For me.

You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
You're the one, You're the one, You're the One.
For me.


Here is a video of another song I wrote with my dear friend Rachael Turner last week:

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