Thursday, January 31, 2013

And then, there were 3.

It all started with a little book.

For Christmas, Levi went out of his way to bless me. To the point, I actually felt like an idiot watching him unwrap the gifts I got him. It was like Santa came to our house, and skipped over Levi completely. The sad part was, I was actually thrilled to set presents out for him. In my mind, I had totally won the "who gave the most gifts/who gave the better gift" competition, that goes on solely in my head.

With wrapping paper strung out all over the floor, gifts being lost in the couch cushion, and my dog attacking the Christmas tree like a lunatic... I thought the celebration had come to an end. 

That's when Levi handed me the book.

One of my first presents was a personalized journal that read "For the lyrics inside your heart" on the cover. It came along with a note that said something really sweet, like, "I believe in the songs in your heart". I assumed this next book was just volume 2 of the songwriting journal. It was the same size, shape, color. As I began to read the title, my eyes swelled with tears.

"Dreams and Words About Our First Miller"

Cue the hyperventalating. I immediately thought "what in the world? I'm pregnant?" Flashes of cute pregnancy photos on pinterest went scrolling through my mind. Then... ration hit...and I realized I would most likely be the first one to find out. So, now, I was just confused.

Levi looked at me and said, "I felt like the Lord said He wants us to start praying about our future children now, and journaling it. I'm not saying 'let's get pregnant', I just wanted something we can give our little babies down the road. They can begin to have life spoken over them, and we intercede for them now'.

It is now, the most special present I have ever been given. I don't think Levi meant for it to be the most precious gift of the morning. He was simply obedient to what he heard the Lord say.

Fast forward two weeks. I woke in the middle of the night from a dream. (In the dream) I was pregnant, and giving birth with my dear friend Kaytlyn beside me. It was so real. This feeling of peace came over me in my bedroom once I was awake, and I just knew it actually was real.

6 pregnancy tests, one trip to the doctor, and several panic sessions later.....We find out I'm pregnant.

That little book for the 'future' was actually a sweet kiss from the Lord. We were pregnant on Christmas day, just didn't know it yet. He initiated it with the book of dreams. Then, with another sweet kiss, told me in a dream. He is just so kind to my heart.

In no way was pregancy on our radar. We weren't planning it, and we weren't expecting to even this year. I think that's why the Lord was so thoughtful in revealing it to us. He is the embodiment of tenderness and kindness. He is perfect love, casting out all fear.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
 the fruit of the womb a reward"  -Psalm 127:3